I went to Boston for a Red Sox vs Cardinals game. It was this first time on many years I had been in a city where the local population was higher then that of my state. So as we were driving through the city to get to Fenway Park I was staring in awe at the tightly packed apartments and town houses and giggling at the roof top gardens and hanging plants in sitting room windows. Humans worked years and years distorting the land so as to erase all trace of the wild it was before us. They pound the land into a flat wasteland they build and rebuild and pave and repave until they have nothing else to build and pave. And after all that they plant trees in rows, make as many parks as they can, and plant marigolds on roof tops cause there isn't any ground room for then. And I wondered... what do all these people do? Do they have a purpose for being here? Can there really be that many jobs in one city?
Then I shifted my attention to the people themselves. Three teenagers laughing and walking quickly down the sidewalk. Business men and women in suits and skirts on their cell phones looking unhappy and rushed. People running. People talking. People lost in thought. People everywhere. The rush and business was intoxicating for a few moments but then i noticed their hair... and their shoes... and hand bags.
I suddenly felt like a stranger. An unwanted and despised lesser lowlife.
Everyone had perfect hair. Mine was in a ponytail. I unconsciously reached up and touched it.
Everyone had perfect shoes. Mine where DC skate shoes i bought on clearance and had worn to work and gotten cocking and paint on them.
Every women had a beautiful hand bag. I had a camo wallet poking out of my back pocket.
I didn't belong here and that was a fact. I would get judge and laughed at and I didn't like it. I started looking for homeless people cause I could fit in with them much better.
Was i silly? Did i over react? I just wanted to be a copy of everyone else and fit into their picture.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Some Souls Are...
Have you ever heard the phrase "Dot judge a book by its cover"? I'm sure you have. And if you have I'm sure you know what it means. But in case you don't know I'll tell you. It means that you can't know someone just by observing them. You have to interact with them. Their outsides hardly EVER portray their true insides.
But what exactly is on the "inside"? Something tangible like a stomach or blood? Something invisible like a spirt or a soul? Perhaps something personal like emotions, dreams, and fears. Or maybe it's the heart? That confusing organ that is tangible and invisible and personal.
So which one makes us who we are? What makes me Abby and you yourself? Is there more to us then are name, age, height and weight?
I say yes. it's a soul.
A soul is different things to different people. To me it's your heart, your fears, dreams, wishes, passions, morals, quirks, and habits.
Everyone's soul is different. And when I think of a soul I don't think of a name and a face. But I think of a color or a feeling, or a sound. My best friend is Bekah and when I think of her I see her soul. It's a rich blue flacked with sea green and rays of sunlight. She's a warm breeze, playfully tugging on my hair. And she is the song I love singing cause it never gets old.
That's how I see her soul. HER. That's how I see past her skin and hair and eyes. This outside parts change regularly but her blue-breezy-sun-lite soul just gets more complex but simpler as time goes on.
Some souls are old souls. Wise people but trapped in a young body. Some souls are young and will forever be excited and free. Some souls are restless and can't find a place to belong.
Some souls are innocent. Some soul are angry. And some souls seem to have been born broken. Some souls are lonely and have a hole that they want to fill. They try to fill it with love or money or power or family. And all the filling in the world is like a cloud. It may look solid but if you except it to catch you you'll just fall right through.
And there's a few rare souls who love with all their "hearts" and project rainbows in the dark.
So what kind of soul are you?
Friday, June 7, 2013
The Almost Escape
I started walking.
Long and fast strides at first then I slowed to a slow walk. The woods folded in around me as I left the parking lot and the trail mouth behind. It was silent. The natural silence you find in the woods and forests and wild places. however, I was not so silent. I cringed and took my chain of keys off my belt and put them in my pocket so they didn't clang together so fiercely. The noise of the keys were frighteningly loud and harsh in the woods as I walked. I felt afraid that if I wasn't quiet enough thus disturbed the woods peaceful reflections I would not be welcome to walk down her winding paths and enjoy the sweet smells of spring she sent to my eager nose from every direction.
Now I know the wood isn't a person or a being but it IS a presence. It may not speak but it is a community of a million living things that form its body. Like my own and your own bodies. I felt like a virus though. A parasite.
I walked a little ways more then stopped. I was still too loud! My foot prints, breathing, even my own thoughts were too loud, almost thunderous. I bent down and took off my shoes and socks. I put the socks in the shoes and the shoes in my hand then kept walking.
That was better. I finally belonged. I sounded natural now, softer, and relaxed. I smiled to myself. The pain from the day still hung over me like the hawk that hovered over head in the sky. Still and frozen in place for a moment then suddenly diving and turning to catch some prey, that didn't see him coming, while simultaneously catching the eye of a person who hadn't seen him either.
I walked for a little in silence. Going wherever the trail took me. Winding first left trough some pines, then to the right through a small field dotted with blossoming apple trees, then left again through hardwoods but always slightly up. When the trail ended I was standing on a bolder looking out at a beautiful view of Lake Champlain through a gap in some trees. The sun was getting low, cause it was late in the afternoon The way it glittered on the water made it seem as if the lake water had been embossed with gold. A beautiful sight. A vulture flew out over the lake shore at eye level with me but didn't bother giving me a look.
I looked at the trees and wondered if they noticed me... then I dismissed that thought. I was as fleeting to a tree as one flash a firefly makes is to us. In the lifetime of one tree hundreds of people are born, married, divorced, buried, and forgotten so why would this tree notice one little me.
As I started back down the gently descending trail I was sad to think of my visit to this forest over. I was free here. Free from distraction, anger, frustration, pain, and guilt. Who would ever want to leave THIS and go back to all... THAT. I wanted to run deep into the woods and get lost there and become a tree, forgetting my cares and worries. Only bathing in sunlight, sheltering little forest critters, and growing. Always growing. Maybe I couldn't become a tree but I could run. "Run! Run! Run!" I told my feet. And they obeyed. The faster I ran the more of "me" I left free floating in the breeze behind me. Like the scattering ashes of a burning note from a once loved sweetheart.
My heart surged with this new found freedom. I pushed through the air faster until the thudding of my bare feet and the beating of my heart was just a hum in my ears. I ran harder until piece by piece my body was left behind and I was just a blur of energy racing to an uncharted place of peace and bliss. The only thing holding me to Earth were my feet. I tried so hard to lose them, to also leave them behind but they held me down like anchors but propelled me like a motor. It's lucky I didn't lose my feet because I might have simply floated away to who knows where. My body evaporated and just my soul left to wonder. I quite fancy that's how ghosts are formed. People who have shaken off their bodies and let their spirits float and wonder.
I was in this state for what seemed like days but was, in the confinements of human time, only 10 minutes. Somehow my body caught up to me and slowed me down and it was over. However the peacefulness still lingered like a smile after a good long laugh.
I gently shut the door of my 2000 Honda Civic and smiled. It was bittersweet to be leaving my newest home. It was my medicine and my greatest (almost) escape.
Long and fast strides at first then I slowed to a slow walk. The woods folded in around me as I left the parking lot and the trail mouth behind. It was silent. The natural silence you find in the woods and forests and wild places. however, I was not so silent. I cringed and took my chain of keys off my belt and put them in my pocket so they didn't clang together so fiercely. The noise of the keys were frighteningly loud and harsh in the woods as I walked. I felt afraid that if I wasn't quiet enough thus disturbed the woods peaceful reflections I would not be welcome to walk down her winding paths and enjoy the sweet smells of spring she sent to my eager nose from every direction.
Now I know the wood isn't a person or a being but it IS a presence. It may not speak but it is a community of a million living things that form its body. Like my own and your own bodies. I felt like a virus though. A parasite.
I walked a little ways more then stopped. I was still too loud! My foot prints, breathing, even my own thoughts were too loud, almost thunderous. I bent down and took off my shoes and socks. I put the socks in the shoes and the shoes in my hand then kept walking.
That was better. I finally belonged. I sounded natural now, softer, and relaxed. I smiled to myself. The pain from the day still hung over me like the hawk that hovered over head in the sky. Still and frozen in place for a moment then suddenly diving and turning to catch some prey, that didn't see him coming, while simultaneously catching the eye of a person who hadn't seen him either.
I walked for a little in silence. Going wherever the trail took me. Winding first left trough some pines, then to the right through a small field dotted with blossoming apple trees, then left again through hardwoods but always slightly up. When the trail ended I was standing on a bolder looking out at a beautiful view of Lake Champlain through a gap in some trees. The sun was getting low, cause it was late in the afternoon The way it glittered on the water made it seem as if the lake water had been embossed with gold. A beautiful sight. A vulture flew out over the lake shore at eye level with me but didn't bother giving me a look.
I looked at the trees and wondered if they noticed me... then I dismissed that thought. I was as fleeting to a tree as one flash a firefly makes is to us. In the lifetime of one tree hundreds of people are born, married, divorced, buried, and forgotten so why would this tree notice one little me.
As I started back down the gently descending trail I was sad to think of my visit to this forest over. I was free here. Free from distraction, anger, frustration, pain, and guilt. Who would ever want to leave THIS and go back to all... THAT. I wanted to run deep into the woods and get lost there and become a tree, forgetting my cares and worries. Only bathing in sunlight, sheltering little forest critters, and growing. Always growing. Maybe I couldn't become a tree but I could run. "Run! Run! Run!" I told my feet. And they obeyed. The faster I ran the more of "me" I left free floating in the breeze behind me. Like the scattering ashes of a burning note from a once loved sweetheart.
My heart surged with this new found freedom. I pushed through the air faster until the thudding of my bare feet and the beating of my heart was just a hum in my ears. I ran harder until piece by piece my body was left behind and I was just a blur of energy racing to an uncharted place of peace and bliss. The only thing holding me to Earth were my feet. I tried so hard to lose them, to also leave them behind but they held me down like anchors but propelled me like a motor. It's lucky I didn't lose my feet because I might have simply floated away to who knows where. My body evaporated and just my soul left to wonder. I quite fancy that's how ghosts are formed. People who have shaken off their bodies and let their spirits float and wonder.
I was in this state for what seemed like days but was, in the confinements of human time, only 10 minutes. Somehow my body caught up to me and slowed me down and it was over. However the peacefulness still lingered like a smile after a good long laugh.
I gently shut the door of my 2000 Honda Civic and smiled. It was bittersweet to be leaving my newest home. It was my medicine and my greatest (almost) escape.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Running the Race Together
These are some notes from when I visited Church of the Rock last Sunday. Don't forget to take time to look up the verses for yourself. Ask questions and wonder and search. The more questions you ask God the more answers you'll get.
Ephesians 4:1-6
1: (see also Col. 1:10) As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2:Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3: (see also Col. 3:14) Make ever effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4:There is one body and one Spirit- just as you are called to one hope when you were called- 5:one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6: (see also Ro. 11:36) one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Ephesians 4:1
What does this verse say to us?
You, as a Christian, belong to God. You are His property. You need to live a life that is a good representation of the God you serve and call Father. God has set all of us on a long and hard race. We are ALL on this race together! Are you making it easier for yourself by following Gods lead and helping each other? Or are you getting lost because you're leaving the path and getting in others way?
This isn't about us! This calling, this race, is bigger then any and all of us! Stop acting like you're the most important runner in the race.
Ephesians 4:2
What does this verse mean?
It's simple. Help each other through life. Life is like a race and there are manners involved in races. Be humble: Dont get in peoples way and slow them down. And don't think you've got it all together and like you're above everyone else. A tiny stone can trip even the biggest of us and the bigger your head the more top heavy you are and, therefore, the more likely you are to fall.
Be gentle: Dont be rude. Be kind to everyone! Especially the ones who are struggling.
Be patient: There are gonna be hard parts of the race and easy parts. When it gets hard remember God is running next to you and He is cheering you on. Dont give up. It WILL get better. It may not get better right away or for a very long time or until you get to the end but it will get better.
Ephesians 4:3
This is even simpler. STAY TOGETHER! God put us all in the same race so that we could learn from each other, help each other, and encourage each other. Think of others before you do something stupid that is gonna slow everyone down.
Ephesians 4:4-5
There is only one important race, one leader, and we are all in the race working together to get to the end. Are you doing your part in running the race or are you letting other drag you along and slowing them down?
Ephesians 4:6
God is the leader of the race so He leads us in the way we should go. But if you fall behind and ask for help He's never to far away to come and save you. He loves all of us more then we could imagine!
Hebrews 12:1-2
1. (see also Co. 9:24) Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2. (see also Php. 2:8-9) Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the auther and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him enduring the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Living the life of a Christian is hard. But it has great benifits! Just like being in the Army. It can be hard, it hurts sometimes, but it only makes you better and the benifits out weight the pain 10 to 1. Like in the Army you stay together and you help each other and you get through it! Every step you take is over and done with and you are one step closer to the end.
Certain things can hold you down and slow you down and trip you up. When you're running you usually wear light clothes and take as little as possible with you. So why would you try to take all your sin and bagage with you? It'll just slow you down until you either give up or come in last place. All it causes is pain, just let go and leave it on the side of the road so others dont trip on your bagage.
Also, keep your eyes on the prize. Everything you struggle through really is worth it in the end!
Look around, who are you running with?
Are you running with people that encourage you, teach you, and enjoy running the race? Or are you running with people that drag you down and discourage you?
Ephesians 4:1-6
1: (see also Col. 1:10) As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2:Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3: (see also Col. 3:14) Make ever effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4:There is one body and one Spirit- just as you are called to one hope when you were called- 5:one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6: (see also Ro. 11:36) one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Ephesians 4:1
What does this verse say to us?
You, as a Christian, belong to God. You are His property. You need to live a life that is a good representation of the God you serve and call Father. God has set all of us on a long and hard race. We are ALL on this race together! Are you making it easier for yourself by following Gods lead and helping each other? Or are you getting lost because you're leaving the path and getting in others way?
This isn't about us! This calling, this race, is bigger then any and all of us! Stop acting like you're the most important runner in the race.
Ephesians 4:2
What does this verse mean?
It's simple. Help each other through life. Life is like a race and there are manners involved in races. Be humble: Dont get in peoples way and slow them down. And don't think you've got it all together and like you're above everyone else. A tiny stone can trip even the biggest of us and the bigger your head the more top heavy you are and, therefore, the more likely you are to fall.
Be gentle: Dont be rude. Be kind to everyone! Especially the ones who are struggling.
Be patient: There are gonna be hard parts of the race and easy parts. When it gets hard remember God is running next to you and He is cheering you on. Dont give up. It WILL get better. It may not get better right away or for a very long time or until you get to the end but it will get better.
Ephesians 4:3
This is even simpler. STAY TOGETHER! God put us all in the same race so that we could learn from each other, help each other, and encourage each other. Think of others before you do something stupid that is gonna slow everyone down.
Ephesians 4:4-5
There is only one important race, one leader, and we are all in the race working together to get to the end. Are you doing your part in running the race or are you letting other drag you along and slowing them down?
Ephesians 4:6
God is the leader of the race so He leads us in the way we should go. But if you fall behind and ask for help He's never to far away to come and save you. He loves all of us more then we could imagine!
Hebrews 12:1-2
1. (see also Co. 9:24) Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2. (see also Php. 2:8-9) Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the auther and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him enduring the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Living the life of a Christian is hard. But it has great benifits! Just like being in the Army. It can be hard, it hurts sometimes, but it only makes you better and the benifits out weight the pain 10 to 1. Like in the Army you stay together and you help each other and you get through it! Every step you take is over and done with and you are one step closer to the end.
Certain things can hold you down and slow you down and trip you up. When you're running you usually wear light clothes and take as little as possible with you. So why would you try to take all your sin and bagage with you? It'll just slow you down until you either give up or come in last place. All it causes is pain, just let go and leave it on the side of the road so others dont trip on your bagage.
Also, keep your eyes on the prize. Everything you struggle through really is worth it in the end!
Look around, who are you running with?
Are you running with people that encourage you, teach you, and enjoy running the race? Or are you running with people that drag you down and discourage you?
Gods Will
These are my notes from church, I thought a few people could benefit from them.
1 Peter 4:12-19:
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God's household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,
"If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. (1 Peter 4:12-19 NIV)
Sometimes our problems is Gods will for us.
Most of the time God uses hard times to refocus us.
Deuteronomy 8:2
Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. (Deuteronomy 8:2 NIV)
God gave the Israelites chance after chance to show their faith for God and they failed so He sent them through another trail until they got it right.
The hotter the fire the purer the gold will be. The harder our trials the better we'll be when it's over.
Psalms 199:71
It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees. (Psalm 119:71 NIV)
Trials can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks, you choose.
*Hebrews 12:6-8
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. (Hebrews 12:6-8 NIV)
God corrects us because He loves us. If He didn't correct us it would me He didn't love us...
Genius 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Genesis 50:20 NIV)
People mean to harm us but God means to protect us. No one can harm us because God has His hands wrapped around us. If we stay inside the protected arms of God we are safe because the world can't get past God. They can yell at us but never get to us.
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 NIV)
God does everything to teach us.
God teaches us in two ways. Through the word and through problems. The more time we spend in the word the less time God needs to teach us through problems.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 NIV)
What do we do when we have a problem?
1 Peter 4:12-19:
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God's household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,
"If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. (1 Peter 4:12-19 NIV)
Sometimes our problems is Gods will for us.
Most of the time God uses hard times to refocus us.
Deuteronomy 8:2
Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. (Deuteronomy 8:2 NIV)
God gave the Israelites chance after chance to show their faith for God and they failed so He sent them through another trail until they got it right.
The hotter the fire the purer the gold will be. The harder our trials the better we'll be when it's over.
Psalms 199:71
It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees. (Psalm 119:71 NIV)
Trials can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks, you choose.
*Hebrews 12:6-8
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. (Hebrews 12:6-8 NIV)
God corrects us because He loves us. If He didn't correct us it would me He didn't love us...
Genius 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Genesis 50:20 NIV)
People mean to harm us but God means to protect us. No one can harm us because God has His hands wrapped around us. If we stay inside the protected arms of God we are safe because the world can't get past God. They can yell at us but never get to us.
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 NIV)
God does everything to teach us.
God teaches us in two ways. Through the word and through problems. The more time we spend in the word the less time God needs to teach us through problems.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 NIV)
What do we do when we have a problem?
Monday, May 14, 2012
Lessons Learned From Hunting
As a lifelong avid hunter I have learned quite a lot about the sport in my time. I hadn't noticed it until I was turkey hunting with my dad yesterday.
We had just gone back out after having lunch. It had been raining all morning but had finally stopped. We rounded and bend in this dirt road leading from a farmyard into a field and as we stood at the edge of this field we spotted a group of turkeys in the far back, lower side of the field. And one lone turkey up high in the field. Dad's plan was to sneak, just inside the wood line, up around the field and end up above the turkeys. It was a good plan but when we got up higher, instead of waiting and calling the turkeys to him, dad decides to sneak up on the turkeys and get as close as possible. Now I'm discussed with him cause he's being over zealous. The most important thing to know when you're hunting is how to shoot your gun or bow and the second most important thing is to let the deer, turkey, fish, moose, whatever come to you. You set up and wait in a good spot but in the end they gotta come to you!
My dad wouldn't listen to me and kept right on going and what do you think happened? We got busted! Four beautiful turkeys took off. And all because someone hadn't learned patience.
"Good things come to those who wait." Now for a hunter it should say: "Good game comes to those who wait in one stop."
Patience can absolutely make you or break you as a hunter. And as a parent, a spouse, a friend, an employee, and a child of God. God is not gonna give you something if you're not willing to wait for it.
We had just gone back out after having lunch. It had been raining all morning but had finally stopped. We rounded and bend in this dirt road leading from a farmyard into a field and as we stood at the edge of this field we spotted a group of turkeys in the far back, lower side of the field. And one lone turkey up high in the field. Dad's plan was to sneak, just inside the wood line, up around the field and end up above the turkeys. It was a good plan but when we got up higher, instead of waiting and calling the turkeys to him, dad decides to sneak up on the turkeys and get as close as possible. Now I'm discussed with him cause he's being over zealous. The most important thing to know when you're hunting is how to shoot your gun or bow and the second most important thing is to let the deer, turkey, fish, moose, whatever come to you. You set up and wait in a good spot but in the end they gotta come to you!
My dad wouldn't listen to me and kept right on going and what do you think happened? We got busted! Four beautiful turkeys took off. And all because someone hadn't learned patience.
"Good things come to those who wait." Now for a hunter it should say: "Good game comes to those who wait in one stop."
Patience can absolutely make you or break you as a hunter. And as a parent, a spouse, a friend, an employee, and a child of God. God is not gonna give you something if you're not willing to wait for it.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Did I miss it?
So it's prom time again down here in PA. I just realized it and I realized I was here last year at this time with my (now ex) boyfriend. It was my first and only prom and it was with the person I thought I was gonna marry someday. It's cute to look back on your past loves and remember everything you shared with them. Even though I was only 17 I still felt like he was The One.
(People don't understand that even though we maybe young when we fall in love every feeling we have is real. Don't put down love because it happens to us when we're young. That annoys me.)
But when me and The One broke up it looked like the world opened up to me and I was full of the excitement of being single again. Now at prom time it feels like the world has fallen in on top of me.
My parents (with my best interest in mind, I guess) have informed me I'm not allowed to date and to me that was a death sentence. I struggle to keep all my feelings in check and under control. And I wonder... Did I make a mistake? Would I be this lonely if I had stayed with any of my past boyfriends. I was in love and I'm not allowed to fall in love now. Did I miss my chance at happiness? Did I lose something worth fighting for?
My boyfriends have new girlfriends and I'm happy to inform you all that they are in love and happy again! :) that's all I ever wanted for them. But where did I fall off the wagon? Why can't I be happy?
Yes, I know God is there for me. And I find peace in His love. Love no one on earth could ever provide for me! But God doesn't give hugs and kisses and give you flowers and have tickle fights with you. Why do I feel like I'm missing something when I have God? Because God made me to want to drown someone in love and get that love in return. I'm in love with my Father, my God; my King. But I want to be in love with a boy. Is that so wrong?
(People don't understand that even though we maybe young when we fall in love every feeling we have is real. Don't put down love because it happens to us when we're young. That annoys me.)
But when me and The One broke up it looked like the world opened up to me and I was full of the excitement of being single again. Now at prom time it feels like the world has fallen in on top of me.
My parents (with my best interest in mind, I guess) have informed me I'm not allowed to date and to me that was a death sentence. I struggle to keep all my feelings in check and under control. And I wonder... Did I make a mistake? Would I be this lonely if I had stayed with any of my past boyfriends. I was in love and I'm not allowed to fall in love now. Did I miss my chance at happiness? Did I lose something worth fighting for?
My boyfriends have new girlfriends and I'm happy to inform you all that they are in love and happy again! :) that's all I ever wanted for them. But where did I fall off the wagon? Why can't I be happy?
Yes, I know God is there for me. And I find peace in His love. Love no one on earth could ever provide for me! But God doesn't give hugs and kisses and give you flowers and have tickle fights with you. Why do I feel like I'm missing something when I have God? Because God made me to want to drown someone in love and get that love in return. I'm in love with my Father, my God; my King. But I want to be in love with a boy. Is that so wrong?
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