Boston

I went to Boston for a Red Sox vs Cardinals game. It was this first time on many years I had been in a city where the local population was higher then that of my state. So as we were driving through the city to get to Fenway Park I was staring in awe at the tightly packed apartments and town houses and giggling at the roof top gardens and hanging plants in sitting room windows. Humans worked years and years distorting the land so as to erase all trace of the wild it was before us. They pound the land into a flat wasteland they build and rebuild and pave and repave until they have nothing else to build and pave. And after all that they plant trees in rows, make as many parks as they can, and plant marigolds on roof tops cause there isn't any ground room for then. And I wondered... what do all these people do? Do they have a purpose for being here? Can there really be that many jobs in one city?
  Then I shifted my attention to the people themselves. Three teenagers laughing and walking quickly down the sidewalk. Business men and women in suits and skirts on their cell phones looking unhappy and rushed. People running. People talking. People lost in thought. People everywhere. The rush and business was intoxicating for a few moments but then i noticed their hair... and their shoes... and hand bags.
I suddenly felt like a stranger. An unwanted and despised lesser lowlife.
 Everyone had perfect hair. Mine was in a ponytail. I unconsciously reached up and touched it.
 Everyone had perfect shoes. Mine where DC skate shoes i bought on clearance and had worn to work and gotten cocking and paint on them.
 Every women had a beautiful hand bag. I had a camo wallet poking out of my back pocket.
I didn't belong here and that was a fact. I would get judge and laughed at and I didn't like it. I started looking for homeless people cause I could fit in with them much better.
Was i silly? Did i over react? I just wanted to be a copy of everyone else and fit into their picture.

Some Souls Are...

Have you ever heard the phrase "Dot judge a book by its cover"? I'm sure you have. And if you have I'm sure you know what it means. But in case you don't know I'll tell you. It means that you can't know someone just by observing them. You have to interact with them. Their outsides hardly EVER portray their true insides. 

But what exactly is on the "inside"? Something tangible like a stomach or blood? Something invisible like a spirt or a soul? Perhaps something personal like emotions, dreams, and fears. Or maybe it's the heart? That confusing organ that is tangible and invisible and personal.

So which one makes us who we are? What makes me Abby and you yourself? Is there more to us then are name, age, height and weight?

I say yes. it's a soul. 

A soul is different things to different people. To me it's your heart, your fears, dreams, wishes, passions, morals, quirks, and habits. 

Everyone's soul is different. And when I think of a soul I don't think of a name and a face. But I think of a color or a feeling, or a sound. My best friend is Bekah and when I think of her I see her soul. It's a rich blue flacked with sea green and rays of sunlight. She's a warm breeze, playfully tugging on my hair. And she is the song I love singing cause it never gets old.

That's how I see her soul. HER. That's how I see past her skin and hair and eyes. This outside parts change regularly but her blue-breezy-sun-lite soul just gets more complex but simpler as time goes on.

Some souls are old souls. Wise people but trapped in a young body. Some souls are young and will forever be excited and free.  Some souls are restless and can't find a place to belong.

Some souls are innocent. Some soul are angry. And some souls seem to have been born broken. Some souls are lonely and have a hole that they want to fill. They try to fill it with love or money or power or family. And all the filling in the world is like a cloud. It may look solid but if you except it to catch you you'll just fall right through. 

And there's a few rare souls who love with all their "hearts" and project rainbows in the dark.

So what kind of soul are you?